Audio version here
Deuteronomy 29:29 The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law. (NIV)
I have a good friend of mine, who is a counselor, and he has a great saying, “our secrets make us sick.” We all carry secrets in our hearts of moments when we made mistakes that we later regret. The burden of such guilt can cause us to be depressed about the past and anxious concerning the future. I’ve been a pastor for over 21 years and no matter which side of the Atlantic I’ve been ministering to, people are the same all over. Guilt can grind away at our souls and diminish our happiness. Shame can sever us from God and our church.
I’m glad that I’m a Presbyterian and a part of the Reformed tradition. It means that whenever I get plagued by regret at doing something wrong, or angry at myself for disappointing others, I can freely and directly come to Christ with my inward issues and release them to God. By spiritually transferring them to Him, I feel released of the burden and totally appreciative of the grace that I experience. It makes me want to learn from the situation and try to do better next time. These secret things belong to God and my spirit is no longer oppressed by them.
For some of us, a good confessor or a wise counselor can bring them to this reality, too. The gifts of discernment that have been given to some professionals enable them to gently bring secrets to the surface, deal with the issues, and discover solutions. Hope and healing can bring about a new lease of life and a better understanding of the reasons about why we make mistakes and what we can do to avoid them. In the whole process, secrets are released and given to God. Absolution and resolution are given back in return.
Whatever you’re carrying in your heart at this time, know that God can embrace your burden and liberate your weary spirit. Confession is good for the soul and whether it is done quietly and personally to God, or professionally and diligently with a trained counselor, the results can be the same – freedom from the past and faith in the future.
Prayer: Lord Jesus, You died for our sins so You know every mistake that we have made. You bore the burden of our guilt, so that we could be restored to God’s love. Encourage us to seek help and healing through confession and counseling for the things that weary our souls, burden our hearts, and unsettle our minds. In Your Holy Name, we pray. Amen.
Short daily devotions for busy Christians and Church meetings
Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label counseling. Show all posts
Monday, July 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Letting Go
Scottish audio version here
Colossians 1: 28 We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. (NIV)
Part of my seminary training was spent dealing with people who had emotional problems. A group of our seniors students were tutored by professional social workers who were attached to a local hospital. The purpose of the tutoring was not to show us how to help people with problems, but to learn that there are some situations where people cannot be helped.
This was not something that we accepted readily. As would be ministers and zealous servants for the Lord, we believed that everyone could be helped, cured, and saved. There was no emotional problem that prayer could not overcome. There was no person who would end up being left behind. We had the power of the Spirit within us and we were ready to save the entire world.
One of the senior social workers kept telling us that we had to accept our limitations. If people had severe emotional and mental issues, we had to learn how to let go and refer them to a specialist. Time and time again, he admonished us on how important it was to let go of our pride and zeal when people were beyond our help. Too many pastors held on to people in counseling captivity instead of referring them to specially qualified counselors.
One of our group wouldn’t accept this. And when we were each assigned different patients to counsel, he went on a one-man mission to rescue, save, and cure the person under his care. He even visited the patient at her home, which was strictly taboo.
Well, to cut a long story short, the patient ended up taking an overdose whilst he was at her apartment. The paramedics rushed to her home and managed to save her life. A couple of days later, we were all ushered into the presence of the senior social worker. He plainly told us about the situation and this time admonished us to remember the event and to recognize there were limits to what we could do to help people as pastors. It’s a lesson I have tried to put into practice throughout my years of counseling. There are just some people that I personally cannot help. There are limitations in some situations to what I can do.
Sadly, the student who over-stepped his boundaries only remained a pastor for a couple of years. He never learned this lesson and took a nervous breakdown because of what we call “Savior Syndrome” in the ministry. He just didn’t accept his limitations. He just wouldn’t refer people to other specialists.
Perhaps your trying to help someone in a severe situation. Maybe you’ve been carrying that person for years, but your support has only enabled her or him to continue in their personal crisis. Sometimes the best help we can give to others is to offer no help at all by letting them go and saying “no.”
Prayer: Lord Jesus, even You could not heal everyone or solve all of their problems. There were times when people rejected Your advice or ignored Your admonitions. You healed many, but not all. Help us to understand this hard lesson and grant us the courage to let go of those whom we cannot help. In Your Holy Name, we humbly pray. Amen.
Colossians 1: 28 We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. (NIV)
Part of my seminary training was spent dealing with people who had emotional problems. A group of our seniors students were tutored by professional social workers who were attached to a local hospital. The purpose of the tutoring was not to show us how to help people with problems, but to learn that there are some situations where people cannot be helped.
This was not something that we accepted readily. As would be ministers and zealous servants for the Lord, we believed that everyone could be helped, cured, and saved. There was no emotional problem that prayer could not overcome. There was no person who would end up being left behind. We had the power of the Spirit within us and we were ready to save the entire world.
One of the senior social workers kept telling us that we had to accept our limitations. If people had severe emotional and mental issues, we had to learn how to let go and refer them to a specialist. Time and time again, he admonished us on how important it was to let go of our pride and zeal when people were beyond our help. Too many pastors held on to people in counseling captivity instead of referring them to specially qualified counselors.
One of our group wouldn’t accept this. And when we were each assigned different patients to counsel, he went on a one-man mission to rescue, save, and cure the person under his care. He even visited the patient at her home, which was strictly taboo.
Well, to cut a long story short, the patient ended up taking an overdose whilst he was at her apartment. The paramedics rushed to her home and managed to save her life. A couple of days later, we were all ushered into the presence of the senior social worker. He plainly told us about the situation and this time admonished us to remember the event and to recognize there were limits to what we could do to help people as pastors. It’s a lesson I have tried to put into practice throughout my years of counseling. There are just some people that I personally cannot help. There are limitations in some situations to what I can do.
Sadly, the student who over-stepped his boundaries only remained a pastor for a couple of years. He never learned this lesson and took a nervous breakdown because of what we call “Savior Syndrome” in the ministry. He just didn’t accept his limitations. He just wouldn’t refer people to other specialists.
Perhaps your trying to help someone in a severe situation. Maybe you’ve been carrying that person for years, but your support has only enabled her or him to continue in their personal crisis. Sometimes the best help we can give to others is to offer no help at all by letting them go and saying “no.”
Prayer: Lord Jesus, even You could not heal everyone or solve all of their problems. There were times when people rejected Your advice or ignored Your admonitions. You healed many, but not all. Help us to understand this hard lesson and grant us the courage to let go of those whom we cannot help. In Your Holy Name, we humbly pray. Amen.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Restoration
Audio Version here
Isaiah 57: 18 I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him (NIV)
Two weeks ago, I spent five days at a Clergy Coaching Center in Columbus, Georgia. I had some past issues that I had to deal with because they were beginning to affect who I am and how I minister to other people. I dreaded going to the center, mainly because of my mother’s horrifying experiences with psychologists and psychiatrists. I was worried that perhaps I was heading down the same tormented path.
I almost didn’t get there, for my car nearly broke down outside of Atlanta. For seventy miles, I was completely stressed out through franticly praying to God to keep the car going until I reached Columbus. When I arrived at my hotel, I was totally exhausted – physically, mentally, and spiritually. I just wanted to get my car fixed and head back up the road. As far as the counseling and coaching was concerned – forget about it!
However, the people at the Turner Pastoral Institute were very understanding and, after taking a whole battery of tests (I’m an INTJ, by the way), the coaching sessions began. My anxiety and apprehensions were considerably reduced. My fears were set aside and my faith was restored. After a whole week of counseling, I felt renewed, refreshed, and restored to God.
In the middle of the week, my coaches honed in on something that I had suppressed for decades - my lost childhood. During my formative years, I had tried to help my mother overcome her mental illness and multi-personalities, but to no avail. I carried this failure within me and attempted to anaesthetize the pain with alcohol. I spent years battling with the guilt and grief.
As my counselors explained, those lost years were still hurting me, but they may have led me into ministry – how? Well, churches are full of multi-personalities – I’m still trying to fix, heal and restore people that I love.
This was an epiphany for me – both shocking and surprising. I came away from Columbus thanking God for my mother’s schizophrenia. I had never done that before, but then I had never realized how much her illness has shaped who I am today.
I realize that this is just the beginning of a new journey for me. God has seen my ways and is healing me. He is guiding and restoring me. And if He can do that for someone like me, I know that He can do the same for you and your loved ones.
Prayer: Loving God, You know the troubles of our lives and the worries of our hearts. You see issues that we are facing and the problems that confront our loved ones. Hear the unvoiced cries of our hearts and the burdens on our minds. Help us and heal us. Encourage and embrace us. Renew us and restore our loved ones. In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.
Isaiah 57: 18 I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him (NIV)
Two weeks ago, I spent five days at a Clergy Coaching Center in Columbus, Georgia. I had some past issues that I had to deal with because they were beginning to affect who I am and how I minister to other people. I dreaded going to the center, mainly because of my mother’s horrifying experiences with psychologists and psychiatrists. I was worried that perhaps I was heading down the same tormented path.
I almost didn’t get there, for my car nearly broke down outside of Atlanta. For seventy miles, I was completely stressed out through franticly praying to God to keep the car going until I reached Columbus. When I arrived at my hotel, I was totally exhausted – physically, mentally, and spiritually. I just wanted to get my car fixed and head back up the road. As far as the counseling and coaching was concerned – forget about it!
However, the people at the Turner Pastoral Institute were very understanding and, after taking a whole battery of tests (I’m an INTJ, by the way), the coaching sessions began. My anxiety and apprehensions were considerably reduced. My fears were set aside and my faith was restored. After a whole week of counseling, I felt renewed, refreshed, and restored to God.
In the middle of the week, my coaches honed in on something that I had suppressed for decades - my lost childhood. During my formative years, I had tried to help my mother overcome her mental illness and multi-personalities, but to no avail. I carried this failure within me and attempted to anaesthetize the pain with alcohol. I spent years battling with the guilt and grief.
As my counselors explained, those lost years were still hurting me, but they may have led me into ministry – how? Well, churches are full of multi-personalities – I’m still trying to fix, heal and restore people that I love.
This was an epiphany for me – both shocking and surprising. I came away from Columbus thanking God for my mother’s schizophrenia. I had never done that before, but then I had never realized how much her illness has shaped who I am today.
I realize that this is just the beginning of a new journey for me. God has seen my ways and is healing me. He is guiding and restoring me. And if He can do that for someone like me, I know that He can do the same for you and your loved ones.
Prayer: Loving God, You know the troubles of our lives and the worries of our hearts. You see issues that we are facing and the problems that confront our loved ones. Hear the unvoiced cries of our hearts and the burdens on our minds. Help us and heal us. Encourage and embrace us. Renew us and restore our loved ones. In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.
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