Restoration

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Isaiah 57: 18 I have seen his ways, but I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him (NIV)

Two weeks ago, I spent five days at a Clergy Coaching Center in Columbus, Georgia. I had some past issues that I had to deal with because they were beginning to affect who I am and how I minister to other people. I dreaded going to the center, mainly because of my mother’s horrifying experiences with psychologists and psychiatrists. I was worried that perhaps I was heading down the same tormented path.

I almost didn’t get there, for my car nearly broke down outside of Atlanta. For seventy miles, I was completely stressed out through franticly praying to God to keep the car going until I reached Columbus. When I arrived at my hotel, I was totally exhausted – physically, mentally, and spiritually. I just wanted to get my car fixed and head back up the road. As far as the counseling and coaching was concerned – forget about it!

However, the people at the Turner Pastoral Institute were very understanding and, after taking a whole battery of tests (I’m an INTJ, by the way), the coaching sessions began. My anxiety and apprehensions were considerably reduced. My fears were set aside and my faith was restored. After a whole week of counseling, I felt renewed, refreshed, and restored to God.

In the middle of the week, my coaches honed in on something that I had suppressed for decades - my lost childhood. During my formative years, I had tried to help my mother overcome her mental illness and multi-personalities, but to no avail. I carried this failure within me and attempted to anaesthetize the pain with alcohol. I spent years battling with the guilt and grief.

As my counselors explained, those lost years were still hurting me, but they may have led me into ministry – how? Well, churches are full of multi-personalities – I’m still trying to fix, heal and restore people that I love.

This was an epiphany for me – both shocking and surprising. I came away from Columbus thanking God for my mother’s schizophrenia. I had never done that before, but then I had never realized how much her illness has shaped who I am today.

I realize that this is just the beginning of a new journey for me. God has seen my ways and is healing me. He is guiding and restoring me. And if He can do that for someone like me, I know that He can do the same for you and your loved ones.

Prayer: Loving God, You know the troubles of our lives and the worries of our hearts. You see issues that we are facing and the problems that confront our loved ones. Hear the unvoiced cries of our hearts and the burdens on our minds. Help us and heal us. Encourage and embrace us. Renew us and restore our loved ones. In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.