Ecclesiastes 6:4 It comes without meaning, it departs in darkness, and in darkness its name is shrouded.When I first became a pastor over 25 years ago, SID (Sudden Infant Death syndrome) was prevalent. It was the greatest fear that new parents had, because the experts had not worked out what was causing most of the tragedies. Some people blamed it on second hand smoking; others suggested that it was plastic toxins in cots; still others thought it was how babies were laid to sleep. Whatever the causes, the devastation was still the same. The hopes and dreams of young parents were absolutely shattered. And because I had two little darling daughters of my own, it made it emotionally exhausting to pastor to the families involved in such a tragedy.
Stillborn babies were also hard situations in which to offer help. Parents felt abandoned by God because the church and community did not know what to do or say. In fact, up until that time, it was usual for stillborns to be whisked away from their mothers, to be never seen again. No wonder families felt so isolated and abandoned.
And then, thankfully, things changed. A group of women pastors in Glasgow, Scotland, started to write beautiful naming ceremonies for stillborn babies and cot death infants. They allowed the mothers to both celebrate and grieve their children. The old biblical insensitivities, such as those that we can still read in Ecclesiastes (6:1-6) today, were rejected. Instead, the loving grief of God, who lost His own Son to death, was emphasized; the stillborn and SID children were blessed, baptized, and presented to God as being pure and perfect. Even Christ’s own words were used to describe the eternal bliss of those little children: “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”
Parents never get over the loss of a child; thankfully, churches and hospitals, schools and communities are better equipped to embrace and comfort them in their loss. As time goes by, the tragedy remains in the past, but the baby is carried in the hearts of their families. With the right help, support, comfort and guidance, sorrowing parents can grow through the experience, so that they in turn, may offer empathy and aid to those who may sadly endure the same.
Prayers: Lord Jesus, we pray for those among us who have lost their children. We ask that You heal their pain and scars, and surround them with sensitive friends, comforting communities, and loving churches. Help them through each day and graciously allow them the blessings of everlasting love for them and their children. In Your Holy Name, we pray. Amen.
John Stuart is the pastor of Erin Presbyterian Church in Knoxville, Tennessee. If you would like to ask questions or make comments about this message, please send him an email to pastor@erinpresbyterian.org.
Today’s image is one of John’s Christmas drawings called “Nativity Nap Time.” It is being used this Fall by a national non-profit organization for their winter campaign. Over 370,000 cards will be mailed out across the United States with this drawing. If you would like to view a larger version, please click on the following link: http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4003/4159555940_eb5f7bb5c2_b.jpg
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