Erin Church Devotions: Dealing with Anxiety

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Exodus 14:12 Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" (NIV)

When I first became a Christian, I found it tough to try to live up to Christ’s standards. I wanted to remain the same, and for Christ to be different. I wanted Him to accept who I was, instead of me accepting His terms of belief. I wanted Jesus to be my friend, my pal, my best buddy, especially during those times when I wanted to go out and get drunk, paint the town red, and do whatever I desired. In other words, I wanted Christ to save me, but to still let me do what I had always done.

But being double-minded just didn’t work. I was always fighting within myself to overcome temptation, and then when I failed, I fought with my pride to overcome my need to confess. One moment I was happy with the Lord; the very next I was angry with Him. I’m certain that there was some psychological scarring going on, and old wounds that had never been healed were beginning to fester, as well as pester me.

What was occurring was an ancient work of God. I was being convicted and afflicted by the Holy Spirit, but I didn’t understand it at the time. I had given my heart to Jesus, but not my whole life. I was still keeping some things back, some things that I wanted to possess on my own. The trouble was this: the more I held back from Christ, the less able I was to deal with temptation. The more absorbed I became with my my desires, the less faithful I was to God.

At some point, the struggle reached a point when I had to either give up being a Christian, or go forward in faith. I had to let go of the past and move on with Christ. I had to let go of Egypt, and let God lead me through my spiritual wilderness to Christ’s Promised Land. After struggling for months, I eventually surrendered my soul. It wasn’t easy, but it was the best thing that I have ever done in my life.

Perhaps you’re struggling with an issue from the past, or are deeply troubled about your present circumstances. Maybe you’re pining for the good old days, or fearful of what lies ahead. Whatever you are experiencing, it’s time to surrender it all to Christ and place it in His hands. Being depressed about the past or anxious about the future just saps your energy, well-being, and health. Put yourself in Christ’s arms; He’ll embrace you and all of that baggage that you’re carrying. He’ll help you through the emotional wilderness that you’re in, and lead you to a better life, a more hopeful time, and a brighter day. Trust me; I know this to be true.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, help us to surrender our lives to You today. Give us the courage to let go of our fears and worries, so that we can replace them with faith and assurance in You. In Your Holy Name, we earnestly pray. Amen.

Acedia

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Romans 5:5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. (NIV)

I came across a new word the other day: acedia. It means ‘spiritual languor.’ I guess it’s like belief burnout or compassion fatigue. It’s when you lose your connection to God, His church or His people, and you end up feeling isolated, vulnerable, and maybe even abandoned.

It’s like being in a spiritual wilderness with no sense of direction, focus, or meaning. It’s a hard state to be in and a hard experience to endure. Souls can feel lost in acedia, but it seems to be an important part of our spiritual journey and Christian growth.

The Desert Fathers of the fourth and fifth centuries experienced a lot of this, especially when they chose to be isolated from the rest of the Christian community. They went out into the desert to find themselves because they were too many distractions around them in the towns and cities where they lived. They found the peace and quiet, solace and tranquility they were looking for, but slowly and surely acedia wormed its way into their hearts and minds. For a time, their souls became depressed and their grasp of God weakened. Some of them went mad with despair, whilst others were overwhelmed with a spiritual malaise.

So, how did they overcome acedia? They kept on praying. They kept on meditating about God. They kept on reading the scriptures. And even although this was hard to do, they persevered; bringing their souls through that acediac wilderness to a realization of a new hope in God’s overflowing love through being reconnected to the Holy Spirit.

Perhaps, you are feeling the same acedia. Maybe you’ve felt disconnected to God for a while and have lost some of that peace, presence and spiritual strength you so desperately need at this time. You’re not alone, and others have walked that wilderness path before you. Keep praying. Keep reading. Keep persevering. You’ll one day discover that God still holds you in His hand and that He keeps pouring out His love to you day by day, hour by hour, second by second.

Prayer: Father God, sometimes we feel that we have lost our grasp of faith and that things are not the same. Sometimes we wonder if You are really there, or if we are really that important to You. As we struggle with acedia, keep on loving us. Continue to guide us by Your grace and lead us by Your love. In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.