I struggle with my faith versus my thoughts. There are things I believe in my heart about God, but I also have doubts in my mind. For instance, I believe that God is infinitely powerful and just, but doubts arise when I see so much violence and injustice in the world. I believe that I am saved by Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross, but then I doubt His influence over the Church when I see Christians aggressively hating people who oppose them. I believe that the Bible is the inspired Word of God, but then I doubt its transformative power into making us better human beings when I hear preachers ranting and raving about crushing or killing their political enemies.
I am also aware that I am, like David who originally wrote Psalm 51, a sinful man who has made bad choices at times that have hurt other people, especially those whom I say that I love. My selfish thoughts and devious desires damage my faith. I am what John Newton once called himself – a wretch. In other words, I am a great sinner in need of an even greater savior.
If we honestly read Psalm 51, we will be afflicted by the Holy Spirit and made self-aware of our foolish choices and sinful deeds. David doesn’t hold back anything from God because he understands that God knows everything about him – every false choice, every greedy decision, every little secret. He comes before God as a broken man who knows he has done something gravely wrong, but even with all that staggering burden of guilt, shame, and worthlessness, David still holds on to the fact that God can clean him of every sin, renew his unclean heart, and restore him to God’s love forever.
David’s story is our story, too. And we have even more besides: we have Jesus as our Savior who cast Himself on the Cross at Calvary in order to remove our blemished burdens and despicable deeds. Christ gave us His life so that we may live with God as forgiven, redeemed, and restored children of God’s grace forevermore. In other words, with Christ, we can begin again.
Point to ponder: What have I done that has offended God and damaged others? How can Christ cleanse and restore me?
Prayer: Lord Jesus, You know everything about us, so we cannot hide any sin from You. Help us to humbly approach Your throne of mercy and grace, so we may ask You for forgiveness and restoration. We know that we do not deserve this, but we hold on to the fact that You have the power to do this. In Your Holy Name, we pray. Amen.
John
Stuart is a retired Scottish Presbyterian pastor now living in Knoxville,
Tennessee.
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